goodbye.

walk away,
shut the door,
leave it all behind,
Because now its obvious,
that the tears I cry,
are a waste of time,
its all in the past,
and as hard as I try,
I know now,
its just goodbye.

While tears fall down her face
she closes her eyes and tries to forget

tries to forget what could of been.

My talk with God

God? Oh, how I love you. You know my every thought and you know how badly I need him, you know how I feel about him. You know how I always just sit down and cry and wish how it could be the way it used to be? You know?
It's not that I can't live without him...because I have been, but I just want what we had, I want it again, you know? I just want someone to be there, I want someone who really cares, you know? I want someone who really wants to listen, loves listening to my problems, wants to be with me, wants to talk to me, I just want that comfort you know? I want somone who would stop what he was doing and listen to me, who cares, and is always there. I just want that back, I feel so lonely without it. I just want someone who loves me. You know?


Devina, I've been here the whole time.

We were...

We were soldiers,
trying to win the war,
We were fighters,
willing to do our best,
We were protesters,
trying to prove our point.
We were.

but now what are we?

Fertig, Los! "Ich kann dich hören"

Letting go is the hardest part of ever holding on.

I'm probably in love with...

Sam Roberts
John Lennon

Jim Sturgess
Brandon Flowers

Bob Dylan

The wall

Why did you keep building up the walls just to make them fall?
It wouldn't of hurt so bad if you would of slowly took it down,
but instead you kept on building, making me think it was going to last,
you built and you built, it was stronger and stronger.
and then,
you broke it all down, all at once.
No warning at all, you just made them fall.
Fall all on me, that's why it hurt so badly.
If you hadn't of built the wall so high, if you would of slowly removed the bricks,
the pain would be smaller the wounds would be lesser.
But no.
you made me believe, you continued to build.
and now i'm here, hardly conscious at all.
When something that lasted so strong for so long, gets broken so quickly in a matter of seconds you would feel empty too.
My head throbs and I can barely breath.
I've never been hurt so badly, i didn't think it would hurt, i stayed so strong.
But it fell all at once. I couldn't help but cry all night.

I must of done something right

YC is when we are looking our best.

Definitely Before Relient K played :D

Run.

I'll sing it one last time for you.
Do we really have to go?
You've been the only thing that's been right.
In all I've done.
and I can barely look at you, but every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere.

To think that i might not see those eyes,
makes it so hard not to cry,
and as we say our long goodbyes,
I know we'll make it through...

chess

I.love.you

If I could fly,
Would I?
If I could sing,
Will I?
If I could say I love you,
Would it be true?



OH SNAP!
Life is short.
You Don't want to wish you said I'M SORRY! You want to HAVE said it.
You Don't want to wish you FORGAVE! You want to FORGIVE!

You don't want to WAIT to say

I love you.

I actually have nothing to blog about........

it's amazing...

it's amazing how far you can walk without knowing it,
it's amazing how long you can be gone without missing it,
it's amazing how distant you can be without realizing it,
it's amazing how lost you can get when you aren't paying attention,
it's amazing how you can drift away without thinking about it,
it's amazing how someone can affect you in such a big way,
it's amazing how you can be so stupid and think you're intelligent
it's amazing how much you won't care...
it's amazing that someone loves us so much,
it's amazing that no matter what we do, how far we walk, how long we're gone, how distant we are, how lost we are, how stupid we are, or how much we don't care,
it's amazing that He still loves us soo much
it's amazing that He lived, suffered and died for US!
it's amazing that we still suck, it's amazing that we still live our lives in the worst way, it's amazing that we don't love him like he loves us, it's amazing that we still sin.
It's amazing that even though we are us, he love us, it's amazing that even though we sin, we're still welcome in his house, it's amazing that no matter what we do, no matter how many times we leave HIM, He NEVER leave us....and we think we deserve this?
it's amazing that when something goes wrong, we curse the one who love us most,
it's amazing that when we don't get our way we turn away,
it's amazing that when something goes wrong we think it's HIS fault, and HE doesn't deserve our love.
It's amazing that even though we are like that, even though he doesn't deserve how crappy and jerky we are to him, he still loves us, it's amazing that HE died for us...and our sin and he didn't deserve that, he didn't at all, he LIVED in hell for US, he loves US so much!
WHY DON'T WE LOVE HIM BACK!!??!?!??!?!

WHY DON'T WE LOVE HIM BACK???!?!??!?!

WHY......wouldn't it be amazing if when something went wrong we worshiped him?
wouldn't it be amazing if we got lost, we called out to him?
wouldn't it be amazing if when we didn't get our way, we'd pray?
WOULDN'T IT BE AMAZING IF WE LOVED HIM, LIKE HE LOVES US?
wouldn't it be amazing?

There is nothing more wonderful then seeing a child come to Christ,
There is nothing more wonderful knowing the God is working through you,
There is nothing more wonderful then spending your summer leading children to Christ,
There is nothing more wonderful then seeing a child sing to Jesus,
There is nothing more wonderful then answering a child's question,
There is nothing more wonderful.

This is where God wants me this summer and there is nothing more wonderful!

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
what it will be like
when i walk by your side

I can only imagine
what my eyes will see
when your face is
before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel?
will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still?
will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall?
will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine.

I can only imagine
when that day comes
and I find myself
standing in the son

I can only imagine
when all I will do
is forever
forever worship you

I can only imagine

'For God has said

"Never Will I leave you,

Never will I forsake you."'

Hebrews 13:5

So I have this really big problem with getting annoyed with people and right now I'm annoyed with a number of different people and i am so glad I'm at home! You have no idea! I'm going absolutely crazy!
God, God, God, God please, please help me have patience with people!
So i'm teaching clubs this summer, i can't wait to teach alone! it sounds really mean but I work alone (kind of like super man)
God, God, God please help me have patience. Please
I love children to death and none of them have bothered me ONE bit....teenagers on the other hand! ARRRRRRRGGGGG
God, God, God please help me have patience. PLEASE!
So I also miss people really easily...and it's really hard for me to be away from people I care about alot and right now i'm feeling so distant and so far away from people and persons and person I just want to cry....but i have this thing....and i don't cry.
I don't cry if i'm around people, alone, or just with my best friends.
Healthy? pretty sure it's not, i kind of don't let myself cry, i feel like it...i feel like it ALOT but I feel like...like...well...like i lost my toughness and i feel less i don't know, Me i just don't cry.
But right now, i'm feeling discouraged, i'm feeling lonely, I'm annoyed, and most of all I'm missing. I've been missing for so long...and it's not getting better because, it feels like I wait and I wait and then I don't have to...well at least i don't think i have to, and then I wait some more.
GOD! GOD! GOD please help me have patience!!! PLEASE!
I need patience this summer! Also prayer please I'm getting discouraged and Satan is attacking me with the littlest things and they are getting to me!
Wow, i really had to rant and you know what even if no one reads that i'm okay with that.
I had to rant.

I don't think you know how much i love you. <3

Three of Hearts.

and I said

"I love you like the stars above, I'll love you 'til I die."

Aren't friends supposed to be there when you're upset? aren't they supposed to hold you when you cry? aren't they supposed to be there always? listen to you no matter how stupid you sound or if you've said it already a million times? aren't they supposed to care?
but i guess you guys are different,
I tell you my uncle dies you say "Oh snap that sucks" or "that really sucks"
I tell you how much i like that one guy you say "You won't see him anymore after schools over."
I want you to believe in me but instead you say "You can't do it, but maybe when you're older"
You say you don't want to loose me you say that you really care for me, you say you're my best friend...then why do you who has known me for so long treat me like i'm nothing?
why do my friends who i met just this year, care so much more? they hold me when i'm crying and comfort me, they listen to my on going ranting about him, why do you tell me to shut up? why do you hurt me so? always, i never go home encouraged when i'm with you..both of you. you hurt me so.
I want to be done with you! I really do
but i can't because i love you guys...though i don't get love in return, i'll still listen to you, you can cry into my shoulder if you want to, it's okay i won't bother you with my troubles anymore.
i just want you guys to have a good friend, because i know how much it hurts when they don't care.

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P.R.A.Y

pray

pray

pray

pray

pray

pray

pray

pray

pray

Pray Always

It started out as a feeling
which then grew into a hope
which then turned into a quiet thought
which then turned into a quiet word

and then the word grew louder and louder
until it was a battle cry

Jump. Find. Search

love poem

I'd write you a love poem,
the way that they used to be,
a love between you and me,
put into a story.
I'd write you a love song,
it would be a sing along,
about the way I feel,
and about your automobile,
and I'd write you a letter,
telling you how much i care,
it would make you feel better,
even if you were a multimillionaire,
I'd tell you how much i love you,
no matter what i have to do,
because,
because I love you.

Freezing toes is better inside...

Kanako and Alyssa <3>
Siri Freakin Johnson is the BIGGEST TARD I know, and I love it <3

Nevermind, Jordan isn't that smart either :P

We won't stop until someone calls the cops...

whats it like in new york city??

i'm a thousand miles away but tonight you look so pretty, yes you do.

and my lips don't kiss the way they used to

and my eyes don't regonize you no more
the turtal wished it could fly
really high.

I am a vampire, I am a vampire, I am a vampire
but i've lost my fangs.

you are my sweetest down fall,

I loved you first, I loved you first.

Your a part time lover and a full time friend.

if you want to cut yourself remember that i love you.

call me up before you're dead, we can make some plans instead.

...And even then we'll start again.

>:{

ever had this feeling that your being ignored?
by someone who has no reason to ignore you?
ever tried to talk to them about it?
but they end up walking away?

WELL ITS FRUSTRATING

All i want is you.
No matter if i had all the riches in the world
no matter if i could have WHATEVER i wanted
No matter,
if i didn't have you i wouldn't have anything.

All I want is you
no matter

Living on the street
eating out of garbage's
smelling like crap
as long as i had you I would have anything.

There is NO possible way i could live without you
all i want is you!

Feb. 20-22

Was an amazing weekend
wow Devina don't you think your posts are getting rather short and annoying?
Yeah so what?
Maybe you should make a better one...maybe one people want to read.
What are you saying?
Your posting sucks!
Woah! I did not see that coming
You didn't have to
wow, umm kay, yeah SHUNNED



<3

is there anyway i can make this dream come true?
if it did...would i want it?
would it totally ruin my life? would it make it better?
it's not like i want to act in anything! I want to act in something!
I don't want to be famous..just a little known.
would one movie, just one make me feel special?
would 100 plays make me feel special?
would three episodes make me feel special?
maybe just a call back...
maybe someone to actually tell me "you did pretty okay, i like it"
or just someone to tell me to give it up.
oh well i'll try

earlier this year..or last

Aviators+siri=perfect
just too pro??

Tara Salt's pearls

LISA OLSON!!!

frog <3

happy St. Patricks day

i love you